The desire for stability and security seems to be in the air right now. Maybe it's the time in history, the time of the year and the time in the election cycle all culminating in the energy of "dear God, please give me some certainty."
For me it shows up in desiring that from my sweetheart, for one of my clients it shows up in seeking it from her business, for another client it looks like her measure of how she's doing as a mother and for a friend it shows up in asking for security and stability from her job.
The tough thing about looking for our security and stability from another person or situation outside ourselves: we can't control anyone or anything outside of ourselves.
I am in charge of my security and stability regardless of what my sweetheart, my clients, my friends, my family, the economy or the weather is doing! That's the good news and the bad news!
While it's not always easy, it is worth every moment of practice to come to know that in every cell of my being. As I turn to my Source, my God, my inner knowing, Love, the Universe and affirm "I AM stability, I AM security," that's something I can take to the bank.
Spiritual growth: As I my know my God, know my Source, then I know I am stability, I am security . . .
When I feel I must have someone else do or not do, be or not be something before I can feel stable and secure, then I am in a precarious position. As soon as I notice that I am looking outside for my good, for my stability, for my security, I use that moment.
I take a deep breath, turn within, acknowledge God as my Source and affirm that I am Love, I am stability, I am security. What a fantastic practice . . .
from one place
to the next, to the next, to the next.
Be the center of yourself.
Know who you are.
Know that is enough.
Way more than enough.
Know what you require.
Call that to you.
Call that from within you.
As you require one thousand things,
call one thousand things.
And allow one thousand things
to come to you,
from within you.
As you are waiting,
notice one thousand things
in front of you.
Notice the gift
of one thousand things.
As you are waiting,
notice the gift
of the absence
of one thousand things.
Be the center of yourself.
When we commit to an area of personal growth, we create the opportunity to transform not only ourselves, but also our personal and professional relationships.
I know my own energy, my own aliveness as I am
willing to see the simple truth of a situation, rather
than adding all the drama of my own storm clouds . . .
Last January, I committed to doing whatever personal work was required of me to become a more fiercely loving and lovingly fierce person and coach. I made that commitment because I had the sense that the combination of fierce and loving would best support me and my clients (and anyone else who was right in front of me) in consistently becoming more of the best of who we are.
Wow, has that proven true! And, I have come to learn that to be both fierce and loving, I've needed to develop some other qualities. Right now, I'm most focused on acceptance. Accepting instead of judging.
In the past, I've had a tendency to make tough situations worse by judging me and judging the other person. Now, if I notice even a tinge of judgment, I immediately step back. I then take a moment to get crystal-clear about what is, without any judgment.
What is? Maybe a client is upset with something I said. Maybe my sweetheart said something I don't like. Maybe my best friend isn't available to talk with me right now.
Okay, without any judgment, the truth about these situations:
- My client is upset in this moment.
- My sweetheart said something I don't like.
- My best friend isn't available to talk right now.
If I add judgment, I get something like:
- My client is upset in this moment. Can't she be more mature and take some responsibility? Why do I have to deal with this?
- My sweetheart said something I don't like. He doesn't care about me. I shouldn't put up with this.
- My best friend isn't available to talk right now. She's never available. I should want more for myself and get a new best friend.
If, instead, I look at what is and add acceptance, I am not only not drained by my judgments, but I also have the capacity to allow what is and to accept myself and the other person exactly as we each are in that moment. Then, something truly astonishing happens: I am no longer drained by this person, this situation. Instead, I am energized by my ability and willingness to choose and to be acceptance instead of judgment.
No matter who or how the other person is, I am who I choose to be. I am acceptance.
And, this is where it gets really good! With acceptance and as acceptance, I am now available to be fiercely loving and lovingly fierce.
Even as I write this, I sense the opportunity in more conscious relationship and I feel more alive, more energized, more fiercely and lovingly available to me, to my client, to my sweetheart, to my best friend and to you as you read this!
"Stop trying to get what you want from life and start bringing what you want TO it.
When I bring what I want to life, I experience what I want in life. No more waiting. No more hoping to be more alive. I choose to be it in the moment."
- Jeff Patterson
I have been aware for awhile now, that to meet the man I would most love to spend the rest of my life with, I would first have to be that person. It's no accident that I hired Jeff Patterson as my coach a few months ago! What a joy and what a challenge to constantly clarify and refine what's most important to me – in me as a person and then in those with whom I am closest.
With my man, with my clients, with my friends and loved ones: what experiences do I most feel called to share?
Acceptance, connection, love and expression with some lightness and humor. And, truly seeing and hearing.
That poignant conscious relationship moment in which I
realize that all in my world may just be a reflection of me . . .
I am so happy to be involved in a new romantic relationship with a man who meets me in every one of those ways! And, recently, I realized that I had not been meeting him as well in the hearing department. He had told me something several times on several occasions that I had not allowed myself to hear.
I so badly had wanted him to feel differently more that I truly had wanted to hear how he does feel. And, in the moment of realizing that, I immediately did hear what he's been trying to tell me. Because, as scary as it is to hear him, my devotion to truly hearing outweighs the fear. In my humanness of wanting to hear what I wanted to hear, rather than what he was actually saying, it did take me awhile, but I do now hear.
I guess that's what devotion is all about: setting a course, noticing when I've veered off and then bringing my attention back to what I am devoted to – in this case, really hearing another person.
So how about you? What are you devoted to bringing to life?