Recently, I've had no patience for conversations about authentic marketing, authenticity in social media or authenticity as a value. This seemed strange to me since I deeply value living and working authentically.
So, I got curious about finding the disconnect.
And, I am thrilled to have been richly rewarded.
At the beginning of my recent mid-summer trip to Phoenix, I complained bitterly to all who would listen about the oppressive wall of heat. Then, I met one of my clients,
Doug Hecker, for lunch. He politely and firmly told me, "We don't talk about the heat. There's nothing we can do about it, so we ignore it and focus on what we like.”
Eureka!
And, how great to have clients who teach me so much!
Let me explain: The authenticity of my personality required me to complain about the heat because I am a person who hates heat.
The authenticity of my Self, the part of me who's made in the image and likeness of God, involves focusing on the good and a positive mental attitude.
My main purpose for going to Phoenix: to meet my coach,
Stephen McGhee’s, coach
Steve Hardison – one of the most remarkably authentic people I’ve ever met – more than worth all my heat discomfort. And, oh, the delicious chilled cilantro-lime crab dip at
The Herb Box and the yummy sweet potato and zucchini fries at
ZinBurger. And the amazing people I got to spend time with - including two married couples who have been married more than three decades and still adore each other and love spending time together! And, oh, the gorgeous desert views from my friend,
Judy Flynn’s rooftop – which I enjoyed each morning at sunrise when it was only a cool 90 degrees!
What a powerful spiritual awareness to realize that the most authentic me comes from my Higher Self, not my personality! How freeing to enjoy this stupendous view from Judy's rooftop deck in Scottsdale even though I think I feel too hot! Wow! Did I get a visceral experience of choosing my authenticity from a higher place! Who knew there even was such a thing?
I’d love to hear your experiences. In what specific situation might you have noticed yourself living authentically from your personality rather than your Higher Self? In that kind of situation in the future, how can you shift to living authentically from your Self?
Recently, I heard myself saying, "I'm an emotional person. That's just who I am." I gave this justification during an intense, messy situation with a friend. I would have felt happier if I could have responded in a detached, intellectual manner.
The next day, I heard one of my clients saying, "I make things hard. I've always been that way." Imagine how much easier her life would be if she routinely told people, "Things are easy for me. It's always been like that."
I believe I'm an emotional person. My client believes she
makes things difficult. As committed as we both are to
those concepts, they're just concepts. If we make a conscious choice, we can change them this moment.
How would my life improve if I believe I am an emotional person who knows how to detach in certain situations? How would my client's life improve if she believed she also sometimes knows how to do things the easy way? And, isn't it actually more accurate? I do detach in certain situations. My client does do some things the easy way.
In what ways do you put yourself in a box? What labels are
you attached to? What are your three favorite ways to describe yourself? Would you be willing to play with expanding each of those three identities this week?
Say you describe yourself as "outgoing," would you like to find out what it feels like to observe or allow others to approach you first? If you believe you're someone who can't pick one thing because you have many interests, would you be willing to experiment for a few days with picking one thing or picking two things and noticing what that's like for you? When you hear yourself saying, "I can't, I'm not athletic," would you be willing to join the softball game anyway?
Enjoy the exploration as you hold yourself a bit more lightly!
Since I have tended to like things to stay the same, today I’ve decided to consciously change my relationship with change! In the past (quite recent past, actually), I’ve had a tendency to love having the same friends, car, vacation spot, phone, clients, coffee drink, and hairstyle for many, many years. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn’t. When it doesn’t, I tend to get cranky or super cranky!
Lately, I’ve noticed things seem to be changing waaaaaay faster than they used to. Businesses come and go, the nature of my friendships change frequently, I need to learn new technology every day, my deli changes the dressing they put on my Italian sub, clients want different kinds of support, my toothpaste company quits making my flavor. I’ve grown a bit weary of cranky and super cranky, so I’ve made up a new inquiry for spiritual awakening.
Instead of doing what I’ve always done, I’m checking in with my intuition more. What would feel great in this moment? Would I most love an Italian sub or does something else on the menu sound even better for me in this moment? How does this new phone serve me better than the old one now? What color feels energizing for me to wear today? Which new client program would I like to offer now?
I’ve noticed that my own spiritual awakening involves opening myself to whole new ways of perceiving situations, seeing with fresh eyes, allowing myself not to just adapt, but rather to thrive. Who knew I could love Twitter?
And, if all else fails, loving what is, as Byron Katie would say. “What, it’s raining again? It’s not suppose to rain this much in Colorado!” Ah, loving what is . . .
I’m thinking that change is pretty much guaranteed! So, I’ve made the very wise decision that I’d rather embrace it and flow with it, rather than fight it.
While listening to my daily dose of Michael Beckwith earlier, I realized, once again, that my positive mental attitude is a choice. Maybe not always an easy choice, yet and still: a choice.
In this moment when I think I have too much to do, do I chose the presence or absence of a positive mental attitude?
Do I choose to be present with myself, these ideas I'm sharing with you, the sun streaming into my office and my fingers on the keyboard? Or, do I choose to be absent from this glorious moment, lost inside a swirl of habitual thoughts and familiar anxiety?
Do I choose the positive mental attitude that all is well when I am present or do I choose to be absent and feel lost?
What about you?
Are you willing to give yourself the precious gift of your positive mental attitude in this present moment?
You say you want to, but you can't right now because you don't have enough money? Or enough health? Or enough time?
Or, you'll have a positive mental attitude after you lose some weight? Or get a new client? Or a new lover?
Okay, I hear you.
And, in the meantime, would you be willing to give yourself one precious minute right now?
Would you be willing to take a great big, deep breath right into the full presence of your positive mental attitude? Would you be willing to be with you for this moment? Would you be willing to notice that, indeed, all is well right now? Would you be willing to feel the unseen support that holds you in this moment?
Excellent!
And guess what?! In that one minute, you achieved at least two of your goals - you lightened up and received the new lover that is you!
I'd love to hear about any other goals you achieved . . .
Today is day 21 of my 21-day commitment to focusing on strengthening my spiritual foundation and sharing my process with you.
The time has flown by.
And, at the same time, I feel like I've always been in this process of strengthening my spiritual foundation. What that tells me: yes, I would love this to be a natural, daily part of my life!
For the last couple of days, I've gotten back to a practice that I used daily years ago. The original idea sprung from Julia Cameron's morning pages and I adapted the process to make it my own.
Each morning before I started my day, I would write long-hand two or three pages of whatever came to mind. I started with writing all the ideas in my head that weren't serving me. I got them out of my head and onto the paper.
Then, somewhere in about the middle of the writing, ideas would spring to mind. Ideas for how to best do my day that day and ideas for projects down the road.
Basically, I cleared the junk out of my head and then the good stuff had some space in which to flow. And, I loved having a record of the great ideas. I then transfered them from those pages to wherever they best fit in my planner and I got rid of the pages.
All that remained were ideas that could serve. And, often by the end of the day one or more of those fresh ideas had already been implemented. How cool is that?
Wow, so one of the best things about committing to doing something for 21 days involves having that focus even though "I don't feel like it."
I've had a challenging day with too many tech issues. Some haven't resolve. Heck, some may never resolve! And, because I promised myself in front of you all to keep a spiritual focus for 21 days, I press myself to get out the door and over to the park.
And then I start to feel better. Those tech issues take a lesser role in the great big stage of my life as I walk through open space, lovingly greeted by friendly trees, a cool breeze and warm sun.
Praise God and Gaia . . .
While listening to Michael Beckwith this morning, the concept of choosing my reality soaked into my bones a bit more. He said something like, "Circumstances don't create our reality, our attitude does."
This may be the thousandth or ten thousandth time I have heard or read this or some variation of it. Yet, today I got it that I want to choose my attitude even when it's more challenging for me.
I almost always have a fantastic attitude with my work - except if something technological malfunctions, or even hiccups. Then I am sure my world as I know it is coming to an end. I almost always have a superb attitude in my personal life - until my sister or my sweetheart says or does something I don't like, or worse, something I judge.
So, what if I took the opportunity with a technology hiccup to breathe, know that all is well and take a short walk? What if I focused on the opportunity to learn about that technology or the opportunity to connect with the techno genius helping me? What if I focused on the opportunity to love even when I don't like? What if I examined my judgment of another to see what is crying out for love in me?
What if I consistently and consciously make the choice for freedom, rather than bondage to situations that don't seem to be going "my way?"
Twenty-five years ago, when I read Victor Frankl's book, Man's Search for Meaning, I first came to understand the importance of choosing our focus and thoughts. If he kept himself alive in a Nazi concentration camp by focusing on hope for the future, surely I can hold a positive mental attitude when my email goes down for a few hours.
I'm now challenging myself to override my initial, knee-jerk reaction to consciously choose a positive mental attitude every time I start to fight something/someone.
Ah, that may keep me busy for awhile . . .
In my fourth month of practicing kundalini yoga, I find myself extremely physically challenged. And humbled by being so bad! Yet, every time I'm rolling up my mat to go home, I know I have surrendered to some deeper spiritual awareness. Strangely, I'm not entirely sure what that means . . .
I just know I must keep going - for my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being. In the process of this spiritual awakening, I'm losing weight and belly fat!
Today, my teacher actually told me to get a hold of myself when I fell over while attempting a pose. She's usually nurturing and encouraging, so I don't know where that came from. Oddly, it didn't offend me or hurt my feelings. And, I knew I would not be getting much together any time soon!
Ah, the rocky road to enlightenment . . .
Hey, I always thought that meant I would be more radiant. Maybe it means I'll weigh less, too?!?
