Choose:
To select from a number of possibilities.
Commit:
To promise or engage oneself.
Consecrate:
To declare sacred.
We create our own lives when we choose, commit and consecrate, no longer the victim of whatever or whomever comes our way.
My 18-year-old nephew, Jared, is staying with me for awhile as he gets started in his first job. When he isn't working, or sleeping, he's writing rap lyrics. For hours every day.
He could be playing basketball, running the streets, playing video games, attending college, chasing girls or choosing from all the possibilities presented to a high school graduate. He's chosen to write rap lyrics. Page after page, notebook after notebook.
He engages himself every day. He is committed and devoted.
He has declared this work sacred. He is mowing lawns to earn the money to buy recording equipment.
Before he came to stay with me in Colorado, he lived in southern California with his parents, where he grew up. When I visited, he seemed a bit aimless. Watching him today, I am humbled by his creator/owner mindset. He is charting his course and working toward his dream every day.
What about you?
In what area of your life, are you feeling called to choose, commit and consecrate?
I've spent a fair amount of my life angry at or disappointed by other people. When I read in Greg Baer's book, "Real Love," that both anger and disappointment indicate a lack of real love – unconditional love – I got mad at him and put the book down, none too gently! Mad because I knew it was true. And, mad at myself because I live so far from unconditional love so much of the time.
Thank goodness I'm a pragmatist. One day it dawned on me that being mad at someone else and being mad at myself don't give me the life I desire.
Even when I don't love as fully as I would like, how does loving even less – being mad – help me love more, live more?
What if I quit blaming? What if I practice acceptance and compassion when I feel disappointed by others? What if I notice that feeling disappointed by others always indicates disappointment with myself? What if I then remind myself that I am devoted to a life of love, freedom, generosity, expression, acceptance, compassion and joy?
I am reminded of a line from "A Course in Miracles," "everything is love or a cry for love." What if, moment by moment, day by day, I use any anger or disappointment as a reminder to do what works? Choose love instead.
How about you? Care to join me?
Simple. Not always easy. With the pause of a deep breath, possible.
Post your own reflections, comments or spiritual
growth progress in the comments . . .
Steve Chandler writes extensively on the distinction between victim and owner. Recently, within a few days, I gave myself the opportunity to look in this mirror several times! I noticed myself behaving as a victim when I thought, "nothing can be done." I felt myself take ownership when I began to create a possible new way.
How often do we hear victim language:
"I can't because . . .
. . . of the economy."
. . . he/she wouldn't like it."
. . . I don't have the money."
. . . I'm not sure of my schedule."
Victim language and mindset is the norm. Most people live from the victim mindset without even realizing it.
Perhaps 5 to 10% of people consistently live from the Creator/Owner mindset. Which explains why far less often do we hear:
"I'd love to, you can count on me because . . .
. . . people need my services more than ever in this economy."
. . . I'm excited about this project and I'm committed
to making it happen."
. . . I will get resourceful and find/create the money."
. . . I will make the time. You can count on me."
The newest addition to our family, Jasmine, teaches me every day about being the creator of her life! My spiritual growth involves allowing her to choose the great outdoors most of the time - even when I notice she rarely looks both ways before crossing the street!
My life and business are getting better every day as I continue to expand my awareness around the times I'm still living from a victim mindset and I make the shift to Creator/Owner right in that moment. I recently realized that judging myself when I notice myself speaking or acting as a victim is a subtle way to stay in victim! When I am in Creator/Owner mindset, I am compassionate and accepting of what is, even as I am "upgrading" what is!
How would your life and business radically shift if you made a commitment to yourself right now to step fully, with both feet, into the shoes of the powerful Creator/Owner that you truly are?
After writing last week about how to live on 24 hours a day, I learned that the 43-year-old sister of one of my former clients had died unexpectedly.
What a poignant, bittersweet, neon-sign reminder to live each moment fully. I had never met her sister, but my client talked of her often. She had two sisters, I have three. We often shared about our activities and trips with our sisters.
Me and my sisters on one of our annual Sister's Ski Weekends - maybe 8 or 10 years ago. (Left to right: Jenny, Cathy, Julie, Ann.) 2010 was our 19th year. I had gotten out of the habit of taking pictures. My spiritual growth: I am now rededicating myself to capturing more beautiful present moments . . .
I can only imagine the depth of her grief. My heart goes our to her. And, I immediately called my own sisters to touch base and tell them how much I love them.
In the days since then, I have been so aware of the importance of our relationships. Our love for, caring about and connection to others defines the quality of our lives.
I have rededicated myself to my spiritual growth of being more fully present with the precious gift of whomever is right in front of me – one of my sisters, a client, my sweetheart, a friend, my barista, a stranger on the street corner, a new acquaintance at a meeting . . .
I have also rededicated myself to reaching out more. Loving more. Letting go of anger in a moment, rather than days later. Choosing to replace judgment with compassion.
Here’s to living each moment more fully present to the love that I am and taking the time to recognize the love in those around me . . .
I give Love this moment,
I give Love this day.
I give Love my mind,
I give Love my heart,
I give Love my soul.
I surrender to
the greatest good in me,
allowing lesser ideas
and preoccupations
to drop away.
I serve as an
ambassador of Love,
as Love.
Recently I noticed that some of what I most deeply desire, I keep moving toward no matter what. And, in other areas of my life where I also truly would love something, I say I would love it, yet my behavior indicates I've given up.
In my business, I keep moving toward
greater ways to serve and offer more value. No matter what. I constantly invest my time, money and focus in growing myself and in growing my business. If
something works well, I leverage it. If something doesn't work well, I reassess, look for the learning and consciously choose the next leg of my journey.
When I wanted to lose 20 pounds, I started walking regularly and committed to eating less sugar. That didn't work for me. My perceived sugar deprivation backfired and I ate MORE sugar for
awhile. I also didn't lose any weight. I wasn't sure what to do next, but I was still committed. Shortly after that I felt inspired to begin practicing
Kundalini yoga. Eighteen months later I had lost 23 pounds because I had committed to finding the way that would work for me.
Shortly after I got divorced eight years ago, I realized I wanted to meet and marry my fourth and final husband - my soul mate and beloved life partner. Today, I still have that desire, yet I haven't invested my time, money or focus and I haven't done the inner and outer work to bring that desire into reality.
I now see that I hadn't made the commitment to do whatever it takes to meet my beloved because I hadn't believed it could happen. I had given up. I hadn't been willing to give up the short-term gratification relationships that work in a couple of areas for the long-term huge gain of the amazing romantic relationship I sometimes glimpse. In one of the most important aspects of my life, I'd settled for something being better than nothing.
It's been hard to admit I had given up. The good news about finally admitting it is that I now have the real opportunity to commit to what I desire with my beloved in the same way I did with my business and my weight. So, I am taking the first steps . . .
What about you? In what area of your life is the reality far from what you desire? When you take a deep breath and then tell yourself the truth, do you believe it's possible? No judgment here, just compassionate reflection.
We all have the opportunity to begin again in this very moment. In what area of your life have you given up? Would you be willing to
courageously begin again?
Feel free to post your own story in the Comments.
I affirm and know
the brilliant Light
that I am.
Shining even under
the dark cloth
I sometimes throw over it.
I am coming to know
in each new moment
that the dark cloth
I have used
to obscure my Light
has outlived its usefulness.
In this moment
I am willing to release
outdated notions
of my own limitations
and step into
the Truth of my Light.
As I more fully experience
the alignment of my being
the enthusiasm of my breath
the excitement of my mind and
the overflowing joy of my heart,
I stand fully in the
Truth of my Light.
Dedicated to my coach, Jeff Patterson
Last week, I called six of my coaching colleagues to ask them if they have a coaching colleague who is actively looking for more clients and who might be interested in taking my new, nine-month Client Enrollment Immersion Program. I didn't reach any of them directly, so I left lovely, informative, succinct voice mail messages. Or so I thought! After a few days none of them had called me back.
What, they have their own busy lives? I'm not their first priority? Not even in the top ten? Alas . . .
I could've taken it personally. I started to go there. But it turns out I didn't have time! While impatiently waiting for my colleagues to call back, I got three referrals - one from a current client, one from my coach and one from my hard-working website. I no longer had time to take anything personally, as I used my time wisely to talk with these three new precious referrals!
Moral of the story? I need to show up and do my part: call the people I'm inspired to call to fill my program. Then, I need to get out of the way and allow the Universe to deliver the right people. Without the slightest concern as to whether or not they came via the route I thought they should!
Feel free to share your thoughts and insights in the comments . . .
I recently raised my coaching fees. I had been preparing for a few months by getting VERY clear on what would make my coaching services worth the new fee. A steep learning curve, to say the least!
And, I am thrilled by what I have learned. It’s simple, profound and absolutely life-changing.I have a new commitment and confidence that our coaching WILL get my clients to the goals they set when I am willing to ask them the hardest questions. And when they are willing to move through the discomfort of answering the hard questions and then the fear that often accompanies the change as they take new actions based on their answers.
This isn’t always easy work for either of us. But it does bring the change they needed to achieve what they desire.
When someone is considering hiring me as their coach, we need to know before we start working together if I am the best person to ask the hard questions for them. We also need to know if they are actually willing to perceive themselves differently to answer the questions honestly and make the required changes. I’ve been amazed by how quickly it becomes clear if we will or won’t do the tough stuff well together.
These initial conversations fall into two distinct categories.
The people who are ready to receive huge value from coaching often tell me things like:
- I feel really confronted right now.
- This is right on and I had no idea this is where we’d go.
- This brings up stuff for me.
- I can see now I really need to change some things.
- I’m scared and I know it’s what I need to do.
The people whom I’m not going to be able to help right now say things like:
- I can’t make our meeting because I have to take care of a client.
- I am not willing to spend that kind of money.
- I had really hoped you’d give me a magic pill. (Yes, someone actually said this!)
- I’m going to wait until I get (fill in the blank) in order.
- "My husband doesn’t want me to spend any more money on my business.
I love seeing this pattern. I KNOW the people who feel scared and willing will receive huge value from our coaching and will be thrilled with the outcome and investment. I also know that the people who aren’t yet taking full responsibility for themselves, their lives and their businesses, blame many external circumstances on them not being able to achieve what they most desire.
Ah, the joy of hard questions!
Feel free to post your thoughts and insights about asking and answering the hard questions in the Comments.
"Unless a tree has borne blossoms in spring, you will vainly look for fruit on it in autumn."
- Walter Scott
What in you longs to blossom now? Even though many of us choose to set goals and make resolutions in January, that timing contradicts nature – both human nature and mother nature . . .
As Nature herself knows, attempting new growth in the dead of winter makes for a very short life span! Perhaps explaining the reality of so many new year’s resolutions never taking hold?!
Trees and flowers know better to wait for warmth to blossom. And so we as human have this same blossoming opportunity now – when the air is cool and the sun is warm and we feel hope deep inside our limbs!
So, regardless of what did or didn’t happen with your new year’s resolutions, what longs to blossom in you now? Can you sense more vibrant health inside you? Do you know greater abundance in your business? Are you feeling excited about new love blossoming? Is a new project waiting to blossom? New collaborations? Deeper friendships? New fun and adventure? Spiritual awakening? Travel to new places?
Let’s use this wonderful, fresh, spring energy to give voice and commitment to what longs to blossom from deep within us . . . looking forward to a wonderful autumn harvest because we’re taking the time now to tend the inspiration of new growth . . .
Feel free to post your spring blossoming urges in the comments section . . .
