Last week, we talked about becoming willing to step past the fear of real conversations with potential clients and not taking a “no” as personal rejection, but rather as practical information.
By focusing our conversations on what’s most important to our potential clients, we more consistently relax about the conversation AND make it easy for them to become clients.
So, how do we know what’s most important to them?
We ask directly. For example, since one of my primary focuses involves helping my coaching clients attract more clients, I will often ask in an initial conversation something like, “So, tell me a bit about your biggest challenge in attracting clients.”
If you are a career coach, you may ask something as simple as, “What have you found most frustrating about finding your ideal job?” If you’re a health coach, you might open a conversation with, “What keeps you awake right now about your health?”
Then once you move into the meat of the conversation, you can continue to ask clarifying questions like, “So, I hear you saying that plenty of people ask about working with you and few hire you. If we could put a structure in place to help them know the value of working with you, how valuable would that be for you?”
As you listen both on the surface and deeply, you cannot also at the same time feel self-conscious about whether or not you can “get this person as a client.” And, you will clearly hear their situation and know if you are the best person to help them and specifically how you could help them – it truly is that easy!
Try it out! Use this approach for yourself and feel free to share your results in the comments.
In Steve Chandler’s ebook, “How to Get Clients,” he reminds us over and over again that no one ever got a client without a conversation.
Yet, every day, I talk with coaches and other service professionals who want to know the best way to get clients WITHOUT having to talk with them! They want to know how to create a better LinkedIn profile, what to write in their newsletter, how to get more traffic to their website, if they should write a book or ebook or my personal favorite: how they can use Law of Attraction.
While each of those activities could attract clients, they certainly won’t if we aren’t also excited about having the conversation that moves the potential client to hire us and become a client. It’s also easy to fall into the trap of overwhelming ourselves with so much marketing and self-promotion that we have no time or energy left to have the quality conversations that lead to people hiring us.
Why does it feel so attractive to hide behind social media, our blog, our website, the articles we write? Fear. If we send out an ezine, it’ rare that we hear “no.” We may see a few “unsubscribes” or have a low “open rate,” but we don’t have to hear, “I’m hiring someone else.” Or, “I can’t afford you” (read: I don’t see enough value in what you offer.)
If we allow ourselves to step past the fear and into the conversation, if we don’t take a “no” as personal rejection, but rather practical information, then we have created a rich environment to focus on the potential client, which already increase the odds of them becoming a client . . .
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
I have the good fortune to live less than a ten-minute walk from the “I Have a Dream Memorial” in City Park here in Denver. Since I walk by it several times a week on my walks through the park, I often reflect on the short life and huge legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr.
This weekend at church, I learned something new about his message of love. He talked about how he didn’t always like someone or like their actions, but he knew he was called to love them.
I’d never thought about liking and loving that way and it resonated deep within me. Bringing love to situations that I don’t necessarily like calls me to act from the better part of me. If I see all of my words and actions on a continuum from the darkest/meanest part of me to the lightest/kindest part of me, then I chose to make a practice of choosing the love end of the spectrum more.
While it certainly isn’t always easy to love someone or some situation that I don’t like, I absolutely know it is worth the spiritual practice and spiritual discipline. I am deeply and humbly grateful for the life and legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr. His message inspires me to do my part in leaving my own legacy of love.
Would you like to join me? What message is calling you right now? How can you more fully live something that you value, something that calls to you as yours to do? Feel free to post your answers in the "Comments."
On New Year’s Day 2006, I received a phone call from my beloved then-16-year-old niece, Alisha. Even though we live a thousand miles apart, we’ve talked on the phone frequently for several years. At that time, if we’d talked 300 times over the years, I’d made 297 of those calls! The three times she called me included the day she first met my new infant niece/her cousin, and two of her first days of school. So her New Year’s Day call intrigued me.
She told me she was calling because she’d made a resolution to call me more. Touched, I asked her what other resolutions she had made. She told me she was thinking of a couple, but hadn’t made any definite commitments yet.
What a huge, heart-felt gift she gave me. She further surprised me by telling me she thought she’d like to call about every 10 days. I felt like I’d won the lottery!
Fast-forward four years, Alisha did call me more that year. And these days, she calls as much or more than I do! And I still feel so very fortunate to have such a close relationship with her.
Thinking about Alisha back then, inspired me to re-examine how I approach and view my goals and resolutions. I realized that to make our goals and resolutions more compelling, we must link them to the underlying reason for the goals and/or to helping others reach their dreams.
This year, I have a new financial goal in place. I realize that one of the reasons I choose to make more money involves going to California more often so that Alisha and I can spend more time together. Also, if I focus on the transformation that occurs for my clients, I get way more excited about the goal of making more money.
So, for me, I’m keeping my focus on spending more time with Alisha and teaching my clients clarity and confidence around themselves and their businesses. As I anticipate the joy of spending more time with Alisha and I actually sense my clients loving themselves more and expressing more of themselves in their work, I feel super-charged. I forget about my self-consciousness about making more money.
Of course I’ll reach my new financial goals! And, feel happy and fulfilled along the way . . .
Want to play?
How can you link one of your goals or resolutions to something you hold dear or to how achieving your goal could also help others make their dreams come true? Feel free to post your answers n the comment section . . .
Everything you desire, awaits you. Just beyond your comfort zone.
To bring your 2010 dreams into reality, you will have to step out of your comfort zone. Okay, take a deep breath. You can do it. Especially when you think about the price of not moving forward. Would you rather feel some discomfort, or live without those new clients, that passive revenue, your book out in the world, the wonderful man or more radiant health?
If you’re willing to commit in 2010 to becoming comfortable with discomfort, you can have everything you desire. Would you like to start now?
I’ve already made that commitment to myself. And here’s how I’m practicing getting comfortable with the discomfort that change brings: every day I’m setting a clear intention to do something outside of my comfort zone.
Some of my stretches:
- Asking someone for help.
- Trying a new food.
- Pushing myself beyond where I’ve been in my yoga practice.
- Introducing myself to someone new.
- Dreaming bigger.
- Learning a new technical skill.
To begin, make yourself a list of 20 possible things to do that stretch you. What goes beyond my comfort zone may be easy-peasy for you. Then, each day, pick something off your list, take a deep breath and begin to become friends with the unknown – the place where all dreams begin!
Hey, maybe for today’s stretch, would you like to share with us and post your list here on the blog?
I highly recommend using this review and planning tool, created in part by Paul Schadler, MD. This is the ninth year I’ve used it, and it helps me keep my focus on all that is most meaningful to me. Give yourself several hours over two or three days to work with it. Give yourself the gift of being very present, without rushing through it.
The Best of 2009Go wild! Acknowledge all your goodness and greatness.
One guideline: no criticism, only positives.
- What did I accomplish that I am most proud of?
- What experiences touched me the most? Were the most intimate?
- When did I have the most fun?
- What experiences were the most powerful?
- Most sacred?
- What difficult challenges did I meet successfully?
- In meeting the challenges, what did I do best?
- What lessons did I learn?
- Describe my power in those situations.
Creating 2010
Think big! Be bold! Have fun!
- What dominant intention do I have for 2010?
- For my mind/body/spirit?
- My relationships?
- My home environment?
- My work/service?
- My finances?
- My growth/development?
- My fun, adventure, expression?
- In which areas of my life do I plan to move forward in 2010?
- What challenges do I intend to overcome?
- What specific goals do I intend to achieve in 2010?
- Who do I want to be? What do I choose to live/express more?
Yesterday, to celebrate the Winter Solstice, I spent time in City Park hanging out near one of my favorite trees and watching (what seemed like) ten thousand geese. A couple of years ago, I “heard” that this particular tree’s name is Grace. which suits her so beautifully. She embodies natural, elegant grace.
As I pondered the gifts of the Solstice, I realized how completely and effortlessly Grace is Grace, the Light that is Grace. As is each of those geese the Light that is each of them. Goose number one: the Light that is Goose number one. Goose number two: the Light that is Goose number two. (I haven’t learned each of their names, yet!)
Without any strain, second-guessing or stress, every tree and every goose in the park is naturally and fully the Light that they are.
So, today, this day after the darkest day in the northern hemisphere, I offer you my deepest wish of this sacred season, given to me by the trees and the geese.
May you pause for a moment now to recognize and fully take in the completely unique Light that you are, a blessing to the world. No need to do anything, no need to be different than you are, no strain, no second-guessing, no stress. Simply breathing into the Light that is you.
“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing Light of your own Being.”
- Hafiz
Last week, we looked at making decisions as if we already are that incredibly successful and fulfilled version of ourselves. What choices does she make in a day? How does he think about himself? What daily practices allow her light to shine more fully?
Here is a delightful role model story for us – about Bobby Fisher, World Chess Champion. I first read a bit about his story in Steve Chandler’s transformative ebook, “How to Get Clients.”
Fischer became the World Chess Champion in 1972 when he beat Boris Spassky. While Fischer and Spassky had similar skill sets, Fischer also prepared for the chess match by swimming laps under water.
Spassky, an overweight smoker, viewed chess exclusively as a mental game. Why focus on taking care of your body, when you use only your brain for chess? Because of his swimming, during the chess match, Fischer had more oxygen going to his brain than Spassky.
The more we understand the body/mind/spirit connection as Bobby Fischer did, the more we succeed in all areas of our lives. Tending our body, mind and spirit gives us more energy and increases our availability to give. We are more creative, positive and clear thinking. We listen better, solve problems with more ease and grace, react more slowly and respond more fully and thoughtfully.
In my fourteenth month of practicing Kundalini yoga, I still feel a bit stunned by (and deeply grateful for) how much this weekly practice has strengthened me physically, clarified me emotionally, sharpened me mentally and softened me spiritually. And, I’ve lost 13 pounds!
As I quantum leap to a whole new level of supporting my clients as their right-hand business partner and spiritual business/life advisor, as well as their transformational coach, I am thrilled to make choices that call forth the best of me – body, mind and spirit!
What about you? What, who, are you being called to? What new choices can you make to support this New You?
Would you like to be a more successful business person? A thinner version of yourself? A more loving person? A more patient person? Widely recognized as a talented artist? Then, let’s play a game: be that person now.
First, define this person. For example: My Natural Rockefeller, Me with a Rockin’ Hot Body, Love Goddess, etc. Have fun with it. Pick a name that makes you grin, giggle and stand a bit taller. Now the fun really begins. Play with making every choice, taking every breath as that person. What does your Natural Rockefeller eat for breakfast? What music does she listen to? How does she speak? Who are her friends? How does she treat herself, talk to herself?
Give yourself permission to play this game fully. Become aware of all the choices you make in a day. In every moment, choose as this new version of yourself. And, get ready for lots of fun, plenty of laughs and maybe a miracle or two!
Cindy Kirchhoff has declared today “Just Be Kind” day and she tied it into Cami Walker’s “29 Gifts in 29 Days” challenge.
If you’d like an uplifting focus and a positive mental attitude for today and the next 28 days, I highly recommend taking 6 or 8 minutes now to get started . . .
Here is my gift and contribution to Kindness today:
Path of Love
May I breathe into being fully present,
offering myself unconditional
attention, acceptance, appreciation,
affection and allowing.
May I gently release
judgment, fear, control and demands.
May I offer my love to everyone this way.
May I increasingly allow and receive
all the love that comes to me.
May I feel compassion
for those who are afraid to love,
even if they are lashing out.
May all beings find and choose
this path of love.
