"You must swing to lead. I was sitting at a baseball game last week and something became intuitively obvious. Sitting back and playing it safe is for sissies! I think that’s especially true in a tough economy. The more constricted a leader, the further constrained his/her business."
- Stephen McGhee
Most of us didn't receive the spiritual awareness or learning as we grew up that the joy and freedom of the game far outweighs the risk of losing or looking silly.
Playing it safe IS for sissies! Thank you, Stephen, for pointing out the intuitively obvious.
As my spiritual awareness increases, I've noticed for myself that as I have gotten comfortable with being uncomfortable - A LOT - then eventually I have become comfortable in what used to be uncomfortable. And then, there is the next level of discomfort to get comfortable in . . . Can you follow that?!
My swings only turn into home runs as I am willing to be vulnerable to possibly failing, looking stupid or feeling terrifyingly inadequate.
How is your own spiritual awareness growing? Where in your life do you feel scared to step up to the plate?
Creating a new business program? Letting go of a power struggle with a relative? Surrendering into unconditional love of your partner? Telling the truth about yourself when admitting a weakness?
I tend to jump in with both feet. I am actively engaged in all of the above right now! And, I have never felt more alive. Or more myself. Or more scared at times.
Let the next game begin . . .
When you feel overwhelmed, with too many options, how do you choose? Try following your excitement. When you look at all of your choices, which one excites you the most? Which one makes you feel the most alive, the most energized?
Deep inside, you know what is best for you. One of the ways our intuition communicates with us involves the energy of our excitement. Pay attention to what things energize you and what things drain you. Notice when you are thriving and when you are wilting. Then, move toward what energizes you, causes you to thrive and away from what drains you, causes you to wilt. It really is that simple.
You naturally increase your self acceptance
as you make choices most true to you.
Now, at first it may not seem easy. You may feel concerned about hurting someone’s feelings or you may not want to renegotiate a commitment. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself before you take care of others. As you take better care of yourself, you’ll increase your capacity to spend time with others in meaningful ways, rather than out of obligation.
As you more consistently follow your excitement, you’ll have more energy, you’ll feel more peaceful and you’ll experience greater happiness because you have chosen to honor your true path.
Would you willingly risk not satisfying the perceived expectations of others to gain the deep contentment that comes from living life in the best way for you?
Recently, I heard myself saying, "I'm an emotional person. That's just who I am." I gave this justification during an intense, messy situation with a friend. I would have felt happier if I could have responded in a detached, intellectual manner.
The next day, I heard one of my clients saying, "I make things hard. I've always been that way." Imagine how much easier her life would be if she routinely told people, "Things are easy for me. It's always been like that."
I believe I'm an emotional person. My client believes she
makes things difficult. As committed as we both are to
those concepts, they're just concepts. If we make a conscious choice, we can change them this moment.
How would my life improve if I believe I am an emotional person who knows how to detach in certain situations? How would my client's life improve if she believed she also sometimes knows how to do things the easy way? And, isn't it actually more accurate? I do detach in certain situations. My client does do some things the easy way.
In what ways do you put yourself in a box? What labels are
you attached to? What are your three favorite ways to describe yourself? Would you be willing to play with expanding each of those three identities this week?
Say you describe yourself as "outgoing," would you like to find out what it feels like to observe or allow others to approach you first? If you believe you're someone who can't pick one thing because you have many interests, would you be willing to experiment for a few days with picking one thing or picking two things and noticing what that's like for you? When you hear yourself saying, "I can't, I'm not athletic," would you be willing to join the softball game anyway?
Enjoy the exploration as you hold yourself a bit more lightly!
The cost of growing a thriving coaching business is high.
It requires that you give up your need to:
- look good
- please others
- politely avoid the truth
- constantly be nice
And, it requires that you give up your natural inclination to spend too much time focused on yourself, concerned about:
- not looking perfect
- not being good enough
- not knowing how . . .
The cost of growing a thriving coaching business: consistently choosing real courage even when you:
- feel self-conscious
- think you aren't good enough
- fear you don't know what you're doing
The cost of growing a thriving coaching business: giving up the idea of unattainable perfection and replacing it with:
- walking your talk
- consistently doing your own inner work
- telling the truth to yourself and to your clients, even when it's uncomfortable
- hiring your own coach
If you haven't been consistently doing your own inner work, walking your talk or working your own coach, and yet you still know to the depth of your being that you are here to serve by coaching, then commit in this moment to doing what it takes to choose courage.
That choice and commitment makes you the kind of person that others would like to learn from, be supported by . . .
If you can't or won't walk your own talk, do your own inner work or hire your own coach right now, then be compassionate with yourself.
But don't lie to yourself.
Tell yourself the truth. Kindly and firmly. And, then choose to do something else right now.
The cost of being a thriving coach is high.
It involves real courage.
Every day.
Choosing and committing again and again . . .
What can you do in this very moment to choose and commit and then take action?
* * * *
If you'd like to do something with me:
One-on-One Coaching Opportunity
I will have an opening in September to begin coaching, mentoring, consulting one-on-one with a new client.
Small Group Immersion Coaching, Mentoring, Consulting
I am also starting to have conversations with a few coaches who would like to receive intensive coaching, mentoring, consulting with me for 9 months in a small group of 3 to 5 coaches.
Both of these opportunities require your commitment to courage. Daily.
Even though the cost is high, the fulfillment is beyond anything you can imagine right now. Truly.
I am here to teach you how to serve clients so fully and so deeply that you offer them a life-changing experience of themselves that they have never had before. Serving clients in this way naturally grows your coaching business.
I can tell you from my own personal experience that serving in this way is more than worth the high cost of courage.
If either of these opportunities call to you, let's talk. Call me on my direct line at 303.399.8737.
Here's to thriving - the willingness to be courageous, even when it's scary!
Lots of love to you!
Ann
P.S. Even if you're not sure you'd like to coach with me or join a small coaching group right now, if you feel called to explore Living more courageously, let's talk. Call me during my open office hour Fridays, 10 - 11 am MT . . .
Recently, I had a conversation with a potential client who told me that she wanted to "just get rid of my laziness and procrastination." Shortly after that I heard myself telling my own coach that I was "sick of going back and forth in my romantic relationship." In exasperation, I exclaimed, "Can't I just get rid of HER?!?" As if SHE is not me.
Fortunately, I heard myself. And, I realized that as I quit trying to get rid of HER and actually take the time to listen to her, I not only learn something valuable about me, but I also quit fighting me. And, as I let go of the internal struggle, I create space to be a better me.
I'm just beginning to get it that as I serve as a sacred witness to all of me, then I naturally evoke more of the best of me! And, it tends to be so much easier to offer that unconditional compassion and acceptance to my clients rather than to myself. Luckily, I have this great job in which a big part of my job description involves walking my talk!
What about you? Which parts of yourself do you tend to wish you could get rid of? Would you be willing to practice more
self-compassion, self-acceptance, self-love?
Can you imagine what a different world we would live in if every person on the planet were willing to let go of their own internal war? That’s a world worth moving toward!
During my personal spiritual retreat last week, I took a day to drive the three hours to Glenwood Springs to meet with my new coach, Jeff Patterson. We spent most of our time sitting on rocks at the confluence of the Roaring Fork and Colorado Rivers. Later that day, I spent several hours upstream on the Roaring Fork, taking in her gifts.
I did not consciously know it before sitting there on that beautiful summer day, but I had been starving for the river.
As a child and teenager, I spent a couple weeks of most of my summers playing on the banks of the Crystal, Roaring Fork and Frying Pan Rivers while my dad fished. I loved wading in the freezing cold water, building forts out of sticks and smashing rocks to smithereens.
The Crystal River near Redstone, Colorado
These Colorado rivers flow swift and powerful with clear water. My dad taught me to respect their pull and never under estimate how quickly I could be taken down river without my consent. When I first visited the east coast as a young adult, I was appalled by how lazy the rivers there seemed to me.
And, then I fell in love with the New Mexico desert and only occasionally noticed the Rio Grande River, even though I have spent hundreds of hours within a mile or two of her. I’ve devoted all my retreat time to the desert and have only ventured to the mountains to ski – again without paying attention to the rivers.
What nourishment had I craved from the river without even knowing?
As a very grounded Taurus, I love being on the land. Often slow to change, I can sometimes resist flow, preferring to plan. The steady roar of the Roaring Fork called me to embrace flow and change with a bit more trust. I could feel my body relax into the flow of the river, feeling the constancy of change – even feeling excited by it!
For the past few months, I have been in the middle of a tremendous personal and professional growth spurt. The mighty flow of the river offered me courage to more fully allow myself to grow and flourish, even as I often feel like a baby beginner . . .
I give Love this moment,
I give Love this day.
I give Love my mind,
I give Love my heart,
I give Love my soul.
I surrender to
the greatest good in me,
allowing lesser ideas
and preoccupations
to drop away.
I serve as an
ambassador of Love,
as Love.
I included this short teaching story from Michael Neill in the last blog post and then had several conversations about the concept. So, I decided that I’d like to dive a bit deeper into its richness and brilliance.
Give yourself the gift of five whole minutes to read or re-read this and allow it to soak into your bones.
"Imagine that everyone you speak to is a multi-millionaire, and that if you can just say and do the right things around them, they will share some of their money with you.
When you've done that for a few moments or even a few minutes, stop and clear your mind before going on to part two . . .
Now, imagine that you are secretly a multi-millionaire, and when you meet people, you are deciding whether or not to share some of your fortune with them.
When I (Michael) first tried that out for myself, I recognized that in the first instance, they had something I wanted and I became increasingly more needy (and creepy) in my attempts to get it from them.
In the second instance, I was the one with something valuable to give - and in choosing who to offer it to, I was not looking for the most pathetic, hopeless victim in the room. I was looking for the person who would be able and willing to take what I have to offer and create something beautiful with it."
When I (Ann) was deciding whether or not to offer my “riches” to someone, I became very interested in who they were and what they were up to. I became curious as to whether they could truly receive the value I had to offer.
Instead of feeling needy and creepy because I was trying to get something, I shifted my focus to learning about the other person to see if or how I might be of service to them.
Wow! That feels so much better in my body and in my psyche.
What did you notice shifted for you?
Feel free to post your own experience in the Comments.
I have something precious, unique and valuable to offer. Oh, how I have squandered it. You, too, have something precious, unique and valuable to offer? How have you been squandering it?
No judgment here. Simply observing, reflecting and choosing a new way of being.
More than once I have tried to convince someone to hire me. Or signed on a client who was not going to receive all I have to give. Or stayed in a romantic relationship that frustrated both of us.
Once I even tried to talk Richard Gere into marrying me. Okay, I'm kidding about Richard Gere - really he tried to talk me into marrying him! Anyway, you get the idea . . .
When we work with people one-on-one or in a small group, we can only work with a few fortunate folks. Our time is extremely finite. Even if you chose to work 24/7, you only have those 24 hours each day to offer to someone.
Why wouldn't we offer those hours only to people we would totally love to have as clients?
Scarcity thinking.
I better try to get anyone who crosses my path. Do you have a pulse? A checkbook? Okay, you're in!
Wait, I love to work with people who take immediate action. You love to work with people who deliberatively think things through. Yet, I have a couple of deliberative clients who are trying my patience and draining my energy and you have some impulsive go-getter clients who are driving you crazy.
Do you see the easy fix here?
Let's use this short teaching story from Michael Neill to shift our way of being:
"Imagine that everyone you speak to is a multi-millionaire, and that if you can just say and do the right things around them, they will share some of their money with you. When you've done that for a few moments or even a few minutes, stop and clear your mind before going on to part two . . .
Now, imagine that you are secretly a multi-millionaire, and when you meet people, you are deciding whether or not to share some of your fortune with them.
When I first tried that out for myself, I recognized that in the first instance, they had something I wanted and I became increasingly more needy (and creepy) in my attempts to get it from them.
In the second instance, I was the one with something valuable to give - and in choosing who to offer it to, I was not looking for the most pathetic, hopeless victim in the room. I was looking for the person who would be able and willing to take what I have to offer and create something beautiful with it."
With whom do you most want to share this precious, rare commodity who is you? Now there's niche marketing working for you! Feel free to post your own story in the Comments.
Recently I noticed that some of what I most deeply desire, I keep moving toward no matter what. And, in other areas of my life where I also truly would love something, I say I would love it, yet my behavior indicates I've given up.
In my business, I keep moving toward
greater ways to serve and offer more value. No matter what. I constantly invest my time, money and focus in growing myself and in growing my business. If
something works well, I leverage it. If something doesn't work well, I reassess, look for the learning and consciously choose the next leg of my journey.
When I wanted to lose 20 pounds, I started walking regularly and committed to eating less sugar. That didn't work for me. My perceived sugar deprivation backfired and I ate MORE sugar for
awhile. I also didn't lose any weight. I wasn't sure what to do next, but I was still committed. Shortly after that I felt inspired to begin practicing
Kundalini yoga. Eighteen months later I had lost 23 pounds because I had committed to finding the way that would work for me.
Shortly after I got divorced eight years ago, I realized I wanted to meet and marry my fourth and final husband - my soul mate and beloved life partner. Today, I still have that desire, yet I haven't invested my time, money or focus and I haven't done the inner and outer work to bring that desire into reality.
I now see that I hadn't made the commitment to do whatever it takes to meet my beloved because I hadn't believed it could happen. I had given up. I hadn't been willing to give up the short-term gratification relationships that work in a couple of areas for the long-term huge gain of the amazing romantic relationship I sometimes glimpse. In one of the most important aspects of my life, I'd settled for something being better than nothing.
It's been hard to admit I had given up. The good news about finally admitting it is that I now have the real opportunity to commit to what I desire with my beloved in the same way I did with my business and my weight. So, I am taking the first steps . . .
What about you? In what area of your life is the reality far from what you desire? When you take a deep breath and then tell yourself the truth, do you believe it's possible? No judgment here, just compassionate reflection.
We all have the opportunity to begin again in this very moment. In what area of your life have you given up? Would you be willing to
courageously begin again?
Feel free to post your own story in the Comments.
